12 Things to Consider When Choosing a Guardian
Choosing the right guardian for your minor child or children when creating your will is an important decision. It will ensure that your children will be taken care of in the manner that you envision if you pass prematurely while they are young. By naming a guardian of your choosing, you are also 'un-naming' someone who you would never consider raising your children in your absence.
If you are struggling to select a guardian for your minor child or children, here are 12 things for you to consider in making this important decision.
1. Speak to the Potential Guardian First
It’s very important that before you name a guardian in your will, that you ask the person if they're on-board and willing to raise your child if you pass. If you haven’t even spoken to the potential guardian first, you can imagine what a shock it would be to discover that they must now take on such an important responsibility. Movies have been made about this very scenario.
2. Does the Guardian Already Care About Your Child?
When selecting a guardian, you may want to ask yourself these questions:
• Does your guardian currently have a genuine interest in your child’s well-being?
• Do they have some type of positive emotional connection?
• Will your child feel safe and loved if he or she is left with them after you’ve passed.
•. If there is no emotional bond now, is the potential there for love to manifest?
Another Way to Help You Decide
Imagine a scenario where both parents were in an accident and hospitalized. As unpleasant of a thought that may be, ask yourself these questions:
• Who would be the first person you would call to care for your child?
• Who would you trust to make sure your child’s been fed and cared for, given a hug, and tucked into bed?
• If necessary, would this person bring him to their house and watch him for the duration and treat him as if it were their own child?
That person may be a good choice to be your child's guardian.
3. Does this Potential Guardian Share Your Values?
When choosing a guardian, consider if they share your values and parenting style. And, if it’s important to you, will they agree to raise your child with your religious traditions? Would it be okay with you if they raised your child with their religious beliefs?
4. Who Would Your Older Child Choose?
If you have a teenager, and he or she is suddenly left without parents due to an accident or other tragedy, and you did not state who you choose as your guardian in your will, the courts often will ask your teen who they would want to raise them. Why not get your child’s input beforehand and avoid any potential worst-case scenarios?
5. Consider the Age and Health of Your Guardian
Many people would prefer that their parents should act as guardians. But consider how old your parents or any other chosen guardians will be when your child is in high school. They may be dealing with serious health issues by then and may not have the stamina to deal with everything that goes along with raising adolescents and teenagers.
6. Consider Their Financial Situation
If you cannot provide your potential guardian with enough assets to raise your child, are they financially capable of caring for them. Will they have enough money to financially support them after they leave high school and decide they’d like to continue their education?
7. Can They Offer Your Child Quality Time?
Before you select a guardian, ask yourself these questions:
• Will they have enough time to give your child the quality time that he or she deserves?
• Do they already have a lot of children of their own may not be able to devote enough time to care for your child?
• If your guardian has more than one job, who will look after your child during those times? It’s a good idea to think about these types of situations before your make your decision about who your child’s guardian will be.
8. Where is the Guardian Located?
Would the place where your guardian lives be a good fit for your child? If your prospective guardian’s location would require your child to move far away from their home, friends, and schools, it may make an already stressful situation harder for them. If you want to avoid any further difficult life transitions for them, you may want to consider selecting a guardian that is close to home.
9. Will You Need Multiple Guardians?
Most parents would automatically assume that their children would fare better if they were raised by the same people. But in some cases, it may not be important that all your children share the same guardian.
Let’s say there’s a huge age difference between your youngest child and your oldest (e.g., a toddler and an older teenage sibling). Perhaps your toddler would be better off if raised by someone who already has kids. And maybe your teenager would rather be raised by a relative they already feel comfortable with. Having a conversation with your teen about who they would want to raise them after you pass may be a good idea.
10. Personal vs. Financial Guardians
When the best surrogate parent for your child is not necessarily the best person to handle financial matters, you may decide to choose one person to watch over them personally (the Custodian) and another to manage the financial decisions for your child (the Trustee).
11. Have a Back-up Plan
It’s always a good idea to have someone as a back-up guardian. Then let your chosen guardians know that they are free to decline to serve as guardian if they do not feel up to the task for whatever reason. Once your chosen guardian steps aside, the back-up guardian can serve. This should also be stated clearly in your will.
12. You Can Always Change Your Mind
Remember, as long as you are alive and competent, you have the ability to change your mind about who you’d like to be your child’s guardian. For example, if you choose your brother and his wife as guardians, and you discover later that your sister-in-law is a functional alcoholic, you can simply update your will.
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